A Story That's Not Long

It had been raining all afternoon, but the men's spirits stayed high around the camp. Jonathan Hudson, the leader of this bunch, had been in his tent for the last 3 hours. Tom Tom, his number 2, finally decided to break his silence and burst into Jonathan's tent. Tom Tom gasped and fell backwards out of the tent. The dismembered body of his fallen leader was spread all over the tent floor. "She's here!!!!!!!!" Tom Tom screamed to the men. The constant training and preparation had obviously paid off; the men sprung into action and were ready almost instantly. "She got Jonathan!" Tom Tom shrieked, "She's probably still here in the campsite. Everyone in the center! When's the last time anyone heard from the perimeter lookouts??" Jim Waverly yelled out, "I just spoke with Durk and Jason not five minutes ago." "OK," said Tom Tom, "Three of you go out and bring them back. I want everyone together at this point."
With all the men assembled, Tom Tom started making his preparations for action. "I want half of you to have torches and handguns and the other half of you to have rifles and shotguns... I don't wanna take anymore chances with this bitch." Suddenly, Daniel Gibson gasped and pointed up to the castle next to which they had been camping, "Look!!!" All them men turned and saw the same thing. A burning light filled the windows of the upper floors. "Someone's started a fire in one of the fireplaces." Tom Tom growled, "It's got to be her. Get your weapons boys, it's time." Within ten minutes the men were armed and ready. "Let's move out men, we've got a tough climb ahead of us."
After nearly two hours of climbing and hacking their way through the dense hillside on which the castle was perched, the band of men reached their destination. It was a side tunnel used for flower and Krispy Kreme donut deliveries. The men were scared and showing it. Tom Tom saw the fear in his men's eyes. "We're about to do something tonight that will benefit all of mankind. I know it's dangerous, but have faith men."
The men made their way up the sewage shaft. The climb was littered with used condoms, US and People magazines, and torn up acceptance speeches. They finally surfaced somewhere on the first floor of the castle. Winding staircases surrounded the men along with mirrors on every single surface. Lance Bennit, one of the younger men, ran right into on of the mirrors causing it to shatter with a deafening crash. The men heard a blood curdling banshee scream come from the floors above them... and then she appeared. Standing at the top of one of the northern staircases she stood glaring at the men. It had finally come to the pivotal moment of truth as this brave group of men stared into the eyes of Susan Lucci.