poem by a 4th grader trapped in a jj's body

i got friends, like paul and pete
they say things that are real neat
pete says paul
should get a call
once or twice a week.

i got moms like black and white
they say things that are so right
mom taught me
not to worry
'cause that's all it will be.

i got thoughts that turn my head
ride my bike, or make my bed?
just to know
that moving slow
makes you cool, you see?

i got self-respect, yeah!
and boy, does it feel nice!
i can do the things i want
and take my own advice!

i got respect, for you too!
i like the things we have to do.
they make the world go round and round.
they make the truth more true.

indescribable

catch the sun

AUTO FORM #5

LOUD MEDALLION

O KAY DOE KID O

re: mem ber
med cen ter
tee one con
neck shunz

boo T leg
lis bon ber
lin one caw
leck shunz

nap chur chin
an weigh tin
dye lup con
neck shunz

a wreck cor
ded mount
ain us per
feck shunz

introduce yourself

Let's all get to know one another, so we can be sisters and we can be brothers!


My name is Justin!
Lamar Nix!
I play the basses
and I make weird faces
and I just turned 26!

NOW YOU GO TURN!!!

CHECK IT

DAVID HORVITZ, an artist, has great projects, do one and make your day better.

He says :

All of these ideas can be seen as "open source." I am relinquishing all control I may have over them on account of my position of thinking them up and publishing them here. In the act of sending them to you, you are granted, with absolutely no restrictions, full creative power over them. Feel free to realize, change, steal (you can't steal something that is free!), publish, claim as your own, destroy, become influenced by (either because you like them, or because you hate them so much that they give you better ideas), appropriate, spray paint, or anything else with them. You do not need my permission for anything.

mmmmmdig.it.

GET BORN.

moi je joue

scene 4 " sausage in my ice cream sandwich cake"

BOOOOOOOM. they run into each other....jimmy's sausage kurplunks into brittney's ice cream sandwich cake. Justin Nix provides Jimmy's voice. Nicole Lynn provides Maddox's lines. WAIT WHATTTTTT???


scene 2 is yet to be filmed.

scene 3 "Macaroni Grill"

script has been posted a few posts below.

scene 1 : "Pickles"

"how strong are you"
"real strong......wait.....i can't open this"

a gun shoots the top of the pickle lid jar open!!!!

"WAIT WHATtt?????"

saintly eyes

The home is quiet. Clean and dark. My son moves about in his sleep and I wait for my meds to kick in and help me sleep. Here is something I wanted to share. Sometimes I do say "how dare we stop" because it's scary. And it's special. Deep Deep Deeper than I can explain.

"Somebody's gonna change ya

Somebody's gonna give to you

ok? just calm down....stabilize

you have saintly eyes"

(jj, im going to email you the song "saintly Eyes." will you please just upload it to this post and delete this personal message? thank you. i couldnt fucking figure it out.)

a rev by any other name

A Story That's Not Long

It had been raining all afternoon, but the men's spirits stayed high around the camp. Jonathan Hudson, the leader of this bunch, had been in his tent for the last 3 hours. Tom Tom, his number 2, finally decided to break his silence and burst into Jonathan's tent. Tom Tom gasped and fell backwards out of the tent. The dismembered body of his fallen leader was spread all over the tent floor. "She's here!!!!!!!!" Tom Tom screamed to the men. The constant training and preparation had obviously paid off; the men sprung into action and were ready almost instantly. "She got Jonathan!" Tom Tom shrieked, "She's probably still here in the campsite. Everyone in the center! When's the last time anyone heard from the perimeter lookouts??" Jim Waverly yelled out, "I just spoke with Durk and Jason not five minutes ago." "OK," said Tom Tom, "Three of you go out and bring them back. I want everyone together at this point."
With all the men assembled, Tom Tom started making his preparations for action. "I want half of you to have torches and handguns and the other half of you to have rifles and shotguns... I don't wanna take anymore chances with this bitch." Suddenly, Daniel Gibson gasped and pointed up to the castle next to which they had been camping, "Look!!!" All them men turned and saw the same thing. A burning light filled the windows of the upper floors. "Someone's started a fire in one of the fireplaces." Tom Tom growled, "It's got to be her. Get your weapons boys, it's time." Within ten minutes the men were armed and ready. "Let's move out men, we've got a tough climb ahead of us."
After nearly two hours of climbing and hacking their way through the dense hillside on which the castle was perched, the band of men reached their destination. It was a side tunnel used for flower and Krispy Kreme donut deliveries. The men were scared and showing it. Tom Tom saw the fear in his men's eyes. "We're about to do something tonight that will benefit all of mankind. I know it's dangerous, but have faith men."
The men made their way up the sewage shaft. The climb was littered with used condoms, US and People magazines, and torn up acceptance speeches. They finally surfaced somewhere on the first floor of the castle. Winding staircases surrounded the men along with mirrors on every single surface. Lance Bennit, one of the younger men, ran right into on of the mirrors causing it to shatter with a deafening crash. The men heard a blood curdling banshee scream come from the floors above them... and then she appeared. Standing at the top of one of the northern staircases she stood glaring at the men. It had finally come to the pivotal moment of truth as this brave group of men stared into the eyes of Susan Lucci.

yocab: aug 18

please define the following three words:

BOGOLVE

THRENANDI

POLAEVIENT

Devendra Banhart-This Beard Is For Siobhan

Crazy/Great

scene 3

Scene begins with John walking into the room catching Brittney reading about Narwhals. "I know I'm a nerd." (She had found herself so envious of the article. The idea of pitching tents off the coast of Greenland just to catch a glimpse of something she always wanted to see. The idea of being free enough to make this happen.)

j- "britt I think you have something on your face."

brittney turns her head toward john with concern in her eyes.
b- "What face?"

Her face is now that of James Parrish, Jr.'s.

"Jimmy, what do you think you are doing here?" says john with anger in his tone and shock in his butt.

jimmy - "Screaming at you!!"

The real Brittney bursts through the room and says to john, "Looks like you're day dreaming again!"

This was not the first time John dreamt of a mutated Jimmy/Brittney being. Twice before he had imagined the painful agony of seeing Jimmy's face whilst fucking his wife.

John: "I just can't seem to shake the shit out!"

Jimmy says, "day dream come true!"

John : "whattttt" while turning his head to the left.

Brittney gets on all fours and crawls out of the room.
as she leaves the scene she says "Ya'll want something from the circle k? maybe a sodie?"

"listen I don't want to have nothing to do with corporations," says Jimmy.

"I'll take some Circle K chili bowl" John declares!

Brittney crawls back with a bag in her mouth and says "COME AND GET IT FAGGOTS!"

She stands up only to dump the bag open on Jimmy and John's dinner plate. It is a bag of poo poo.

"Well if i have to eat something, I'd rather it be this shit than Circle k," says Jimmy.

"You know what? I hear that there is some great poo poo platters at the macaroni grill." says John.

"wait what!!!!!!!!!!?" says jimmy and Brittney simultaneously and turns heads to the side.

end scene with an original song coming soon by Jimmy and John.

THE ARROW AND THE SONG

i've got mine

how dare they stop?

...when the pieces fit so well...




don't want no drama. just shed a tear.

always talkin in opposites

P-Funk

by Pan Frederick

The two things I enjoy most about Portland, Oregon, as of today, are as follows: 1. The power of the pedestrian. If you're standing on the side of the road and it appears as though you may be thinking about possibly wanting to cross the street, cars will stop, sometimes screech, to let you walk. 2. No sales tax. If something costs $9.95, it costs $9.95. If you only have two dollars and two quarters and an iced coffee costs $2.50, you're getting an iced coffee. These are two very beautiful things.

Two things I am still getting used to: 1. Portland men. 2. Portland men. I just don't get 'em. Maybe there's nothing to get. Maybe they're really not that different. Maybe I've lost my mojo. Or maybe they're all nuts. Fucking loony. Don't get me wrong. Good looks, motivation and creativity are in abundance. However, shyness, taken-ness and asexuality are also rampant. 

A few other things I've noticed: 1. Every store smells like a thrift store. 2. Vegetable gardens are often in the front yard, and they tend to spill onto the sidewalk. 3. People who look homeless may not be. 4. Happy Hour is required. 5. Haircuts are optional. 6. Eyewear as fashion, rather than function, is encouraged. 7. Lesbians do exist. Although sometimes they are mistaken for death metal band frontmen. 8. Indie-rock is king. 9. Unless you're anti-trendy. 10. In which case you're so far underground, you might as well be a mole. 

I started reading the book Fugitives and Refugees by Chuck Palahniuk.  It's about the people of Portland, or the "most cracked of the crackpots." The book begins with an interview with Katherine Dunn, a writer and poet of Portland. I think she lays it out nicely...

"Everyone in Portland is living a minimum of three lives. Everyone has at least three identities. They're a grocery store checker, an archeologist and a biker dude. Or they're a poet, a drag queen and a bookstore clerk. It's tricky because all the rich people are in disguise. You never know when the scruffy guy behind the counter could be someone rich enough to buy the store, chew it up and spit it out. The nice little old ladies from the West Hills - with sweater sets and pearls - they're all rabid advocates of the death penalty. We just accumulate more and more strange people," Dunn tells Palahniuk. "All we are are the fugitives and refugees."

Portland's funny. It draws people for accidental reasons. I've yet to meet anyone who is actually from here. But I've also only been here two weeks. And I haven't met that many people. 

Lets play a game.

The name of the game is to make rules. go.

Ride the Lightning

dead cereal - if you want to be a handsome older man

AUTO FORM #4

SAL VIV AL VAV LE VI LVAL VAVA VIL A LAVA VA LALA LAS VIV AS ALVA LIV AA

sweet love for planet earth

yocab- august 9

define these three words:

SPREELEVENDT

RETITRIEFILAGLE

GLOVANT


big, big yocab news coming soon. thanks you!

the headmaster ritual- from thumbs down webcast

pick your favorite...

...radiohead youtube clip, and post it here. it's sunday, it's the lord's day.

BOMBS OVER BAGHDAD

Raised On Crap: My Childhood Cartoons pt.2

So what exactly happened to cartoons after the Golden Age of animation? Perhaps better understanding this will help those people out there who believe they actually enjoyed shows like Tiny Toons and Animaniacs realize they are terribly wrong, and that these were ugly shows created by people who couldn't draw if their life depended on it. This is all stuff that I have learned from reading publications like Wild Cartoon Kingdom, which was written by heroes of the animation industry like John Kricfalusi, who actually were working animators during the '80s. Since those magazines are out of print now, I will gladly pass the good message along.

There's a reason the 1940s and '50s were referred to as the Golden Age of cartoons, it's that all cartoons were made by Cartoonists! That's right, zillions of years ago there were guys like Bob Clampett, Chuck Jones, Tex Avery, Walt Disney, Ub Iwerks, Frank Tashlin, Bob McKimson, and many more who would make cartoons so funny that we are still laughing at them today (even though now they come packaged with a parental advisory!).


It was in the 1960s that cartoons were taken away from Cartoonists, and put into the hands of people who hate cartoons, not to mention hate the Cartoonists as well! These were people who didn't understand how to read storyboards, and this is where Cartoon Scriptwriters came from. In fact, not only can the Cartoon Scriptwriter not draw, they can't write either! Did you know that cartoon scripts are well known for being the most illiterate entertainment medium today?

This is where the Dark Ages began, and we pressed on into the '80s with shows like Gilligan's Planet, He-Man, Lavern and Shirley In the Army, Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids, My Little Pony, The Care Bears, Smurfs, Snow White and the Seven Giants... do I need to go on? This list could extend for pages.


John Kricfalusi actually had to go work for the worst cartoon studio of all time, Filmation, where the artists were hired to rehash versions of old cartoons, classics like Tom and Jerry, Droopy, Heckle and Jeckle, and Mighty Mouse. He once stated, "Our job was to destroy these cartoons that we all loved when we were kids. We did a pretty good job of it too. Over the years I worked on some of the worst crap in history".


When Who Framed Roger Rabbit was a hit in 1988, it set the stage for the return of cartoony creator-driven cartoons, and that's where The Ren & Stimpy Show came from; Nickelodeon executives hired Spumco to produce what they thought was a new concept, cartoons made by Cartoonists.

But Nickelodeon didn't like what they saw, and they not only fired Spumco just a little over a year after production began, they stole the characters and created Games Animation where they made their own episodes, destroying the series just the way Filmation destroyed classic cartoons in the '80s... only this time it took 2 years instead of decades to achieve.


What did Nickelodeon hate about Ren & Stimpy? They hated the gross jokes, they hated how crazy Ren was crazy and they wanted him to be nice to Stimpy (what if Moe had been nice to Larry and Curly?), and they also hated weird stuff. They even threatened to fire the staff after seeing the storyboards for "Stimpy's Invention", an episode they would later promote with countless posters and toys!


There are other heroes in animation like Ralph Bakshi, who actually sold CBS The New Adventures of Mighty Mouse during a staff meeting, when he didn't even own the rights to the character! Network executives didn't allow anything original during the '80, it was all about selling the toys or pre-existing franchises. Once the meeting was over, they found the rightful owners and were able to produce a series created by cartoonists. Flawed, sure, but it was the first time since the Golden Age that cartoons were pure again!

I kind of got off subject here, and talked more about the good stuff as opposed to the "crap", so I think the best thing to do to try and wrap up my point is to have you compare cartoons. Below is a Bob Clampett short called "Baby Bottleneck", and directly below that is a Tiny Toons short. Watch these two back-to-back and then tell me that Tiny Toons did not destroy everything wonderful about Looney Tunes. Just below that, check out this really cool article by Kali Fontecchio on "Baby Bottleneck"!




Kali Fontecchio's "Baby Bottleneck" Review!

written by Jason Anders

Preamble to the Constipation:

My hope has been to contribute short, often full of expletives, opinion pieces to the Postandeason Community. I've been a little backed up lately. However, I have recently relocated to a city where I know no one, and I am hoping this lack of distraction will allow for more writing to occur. Here is a sample piece. I wrote this shortly before leaving New Orleans. It began as a rant on the bad drivers who think they're good drivers so they honk at everyone they deem bad drivers in hopes of teaching those bad drivers a lesson as well as cutting time off their commute - which averages to about 90 seconds. A minute and a half. That's it. However, the column took a turn somewhere along the way. I hope you can follow the trail, and I hope you're game for the journeys to come. 

Honking and Waiting

by Pan Frederick

I can't write unless I've something to say. Lately, I got nothing. Even the excessively unnecessary horn-honkers don't rile me. Okay, maybe they still annoy the fuck out of me. But in a nice way. In a, makes me want to caress them sweetly, sort of way. I want to tell them, "It's okay. You're doing great. You'll arrive at your destination shortly."

I'm beginning to feel like I finally have my shit together. At least more than the honkers do. Because if I can make it across town without bolts of rage and barreling obscenities rushing around my veins and pouring out my mouth at those stupid idiots who don't know how to drive - they better get out my way - MOVE you Mother Fucker - HooOOOOOOONNNNNNNNK ......then I'm doing okay. 

Actually, the true test of mental stability is getting through a Sunday Brunch without wanting to punch every hungover-er who orders a coffee and a water, a Diet Coke and a water, a fucking Bloody Mary - not too spicy - and a water, with a lemon - please. Whenever you get a chance. 

That's my favorite. Whenever I get a chance. That's actually code for, "You better fucking bring it in two God-damn seconds. Haven't you heard me slurping on my straw for an hour over here. Lazy sack a shit."

Although, I'm sure they hate when I leave the bill and say, "Whenever you're ready." Because that's code from me for, "Get yo fat ass up outta my booth. You are not the only one who needs to eat today okay!"  

Shit. I've managed to over analyze iced water and credit card receipts. Inanimate objects are making me neurotic. Or maybe just bitter. Actually, I'm probably just bored. 

AUTO FORM #3

TUFA TUGO COMA ENDO

Raised on Crap: My Childhood Cartoons pt.1

Remember how much fun it was to wake up on Saturday mornings and be emotionally raped as children by cartoons like this:


Shows that were designed to sell toys by re-telling the same seven stories over and over again through ugly animation and awful dialogue. That is actually what the producers of these cartoons told their animators, and they weren't allowed to venture outside of those seven stories. My favorites were the "let's share everything" episodes.


So why didn't we realize as children that we were being subjected to crap that was being written by cartoon writers too retarded to even construct a sentence? Have you gone back and watched any of these shows since growing up? I think a lot of people do, and they just tell themselves, "oh we just thought it was good because we were kids, and it is made for children", But have you gone back and watched cartoons that were made before the 1980s? Cartoons made by cartoonists? Go watch a Bob Clampett cartoon, or a Fleischer Popeye or Betty Boop short, or a Tex Avery cartoon.


Did you know that all of the Looney Tunes DVDs that were recently released by Warner Bros. have warnings on them "May Not Be Suitable for Children. Looney Tunes are intended for the Adult Collector". What?! Since when have Looney Tunes deserved a parental advisory? It's actually since the term was coined by cartoon executives "Imitable Behavior". This means that when Elmer Fudd blows off Daffy Duck's face with a rifle, that your children might not be able to separate this from reality.


A good example of "imitable behavior" censorship is with The Ren & Stimpy Show, where the entire animation studio was fired by Nickelodeon executives because they felt the cartoon violence would lead innocent children down a path of self-destruction. Ren & Stimpy is actually one of the only modern day examples of television animation (or any animation for that matter) done right.


When I was a child I loved Disney cartoons, until I realized one day that they were completely void of any personality or humor. But that is an entire different post altogether. There are some exceptions with Disney cartoons; have you ever watched Song of the South? Check out the animation in this film, it's some of the best ever produced by any studio.


Remember when the Hollywood whore Steven Spielberg started dabbling in animation? He brought us horrible crap like this:


Tiny Toon Adventures was supposed to bring back the "creator-driven cartoon", and be reminiscent of Termite Terrace, but it too was also raped by retarded Hollywood executives. That's where the job position of "cartoon writer" came from. The one requirement for this position is that you can't draw. Executives don't want artists anywhere near the responsibilities of what goes into a cartoon.


What blows my mind is that children seem a lot smarter nowadays than they did when we were young. My cousins were learning different languages at an age that I was jamming toy trucks up my nose as a kid. Why should they be denied funny cartoons? Who Framed Roger Rabbit almost brought back "cartoony" cartoons, but for those of you who have done your Disney homework, you know that Roger Rabbit is no longer welcome in the Disney family.


So what do you think? Do you think that our kids should be sheltered from Bugs Bunny, Ren and Stimpy, Tom and Jerry, and all the other characters that network executives have deemed too evil for children?

Isn't it much crueler to subject them to this?:



written by Jason Anders

today I challenged my self to write a sonnet in 5 minutes. it took 7.

begin among the pardoned peoples place
without or with a continent of form
around the outside condensations pace
again and tarry accidental worm
treetops and crops will stagger to their floor
or ceiling whether don miguels restraint
provides a candle-lit beguiling door
that opens to a canvas made of paint
reach further, casual, and missing eyes
for all the time a man with inches cries
the stain of thinking kills a sense of film
which made to capture, stings instead the guise
the latest most intended to arrive
began before the staff begat the knife

beat control

picking you up from the airport

Porch Face

As I sit on my shaded front porch
next to the water-marked fence,
a sniffing dog -Ignatius-,
roaming cockroaches,
busy spiders -Charlotte?-,
and fading fern plants,

I notice the heat;
mostly, the sweat
falling from my hairline
down my forehead
over the bridge of my nose,
through my lips,
and falling off my cliffed chin.

I wave to my neighbor,
as she walks past my world,
walking her tiny rat-dog.
She sweats, too, and
marks the world with her Yankee scent.

Then, as the heat begins to get to my head--
the sweat no longer cooling it down—
my mind starts to drift, fall, and walk on it’s own.
It staggers, like a drunk man on the street.
It holds itself up with a street pole or park bench,
whichever is closer.
It focuses on material things for orientation.
Steady, steady; one foot in front of the other.
It attempts to juggle but falters,
hesitates,
and returns to comfortable themes:
love is all, music is love, and
everything is everything.

to my fellow darshes

life is good, keep on shufflin'.

august is among us, let's give it a hug.

i've been at peace with my handwriting.

and things are taken care of when you sort it out.


all my love,
jerk

teengirl fantasy- portofino

a song you'll surely enjoy:

















download the full EP here.

yocab: aug 1

FUBINY

TRAELSEDON

LATIFRE