mourning and rejoicing

Dear sweet angels,

I am living in a constant state of nostalgic tenderness. It fills my heart with gladness that I have those memories, yet, really rips open my stomach because They are gone. They. Them. Those things that happened at one point. That state of mind I was in during that slot of time. How many songs have I performed? I wish i could count. Too many tears and not enough laughs. I am not sure that this is a regret. Just a deep reflection. What the fuck happened?

There is so much evidence of a fruitful life. When I see these pictures and hear these songs....I realize how rich I am with purity and love. Remember in drawing 101.... you learn to create....and then step away and observe what you have created....and then think about what you would like to change...and then you make it happen.

Life is a huge acid trip. Do not tell my son this. I know you all know. But I needed YOU to know that I DO NOT HAVE MY SHIT TOGETHER. Let us pray