Just really thinking

Sometimes I think I have most things figured out. I can talk to my friends about this and that but I always have that inner monologue that dissects and proves the real truth to myself. Things I think about people that I don't want to ask aloud. But things that I am sure are true. I begin to talk about these things and realize not only are they not true, but they really don't make that much sense. Regardless of what I may be thinking, how did I even arrive to a conclusion? Why don't you call? I know you're not asleep, I know you're not busy, I mean it's 2009, everyone has their god damn phone? You're avoiding me, you no longer like me, you hate me. You're not normal. Me, I'm normal! I don't do things like that. One might ask, "Why don't they call?" To which I'll reply, I'm sure he's busy! I'm sure she's just taking a nap! Doesn't he have finals this week? Well she did get that new job.... The same doubts and assumptions begin their familiar erosion of truth and sensibility. Well you know me, I don't give a FUCK, it doesn't matter who calls or who doesn't call. I am free of self doubt, ramming through facebook, maniacally picking through my texts over and over, I just don't do it. I understand the motivation behind everything just like everyone else.

Neverending circular inner dialogue.

I wrote that in 2009 thinking it wasn't finished. But now that we know that every horizon is new - and that nothing can no longer hold us back in the year 2010; it is finished. All that.